Writer's Profile

During the course of this semester I feel like I've grown as a writer. I can't actually say how much I grew as a writer, but I did grow no matter how big or small. I don't feel like I learned anything specifically that will help me with my writing in the future but I did grow as a writer, simply because of the fact that I did a lot of writing. If you write a lot of different things you are going to grow no matter what, it's just like if someone takes a lot of jump shots playing basketball they are going to get better even if it's just a little bit. I don't think that there was anything that happened in class that either helped or impeded my development as a writer. Right now I still feel like I’m a pretty good writer. My writing process definitely hasn't throughout the course of the semester. I still take the same approach when I'm about to write, by waiting until the last minute to start writing. I think that my thoughts flow better that way, and I probably won't stop doing it this until I'm negatively affected by it. The only goal I ever set as a writer is escaping the class with a B, and my goal hasn't changed throughout the semester. 

The only challenge I had during the semester was writing the Inquiry Paper. The reason I found this specific assignment so challenging was because it was asking for me to write a type of paper that I’ve never had to write before. It was the first time that I had to write an argumentative paper, and I had a problem preventing it from being conversational. The only way I was able to overcome this obstacle was by reading the feedback and learning what I was doing right and what I was doing wrong. I believe that this assignment if any fostered my growth as a writer the most, because I was forced to write differently. I’m glad that I had to do the Inquiry paper because I’m pretty sure that I will run into another argumentative paper somewhere down the road.

At the beginning of the semester I expected to be like any other English class I’ve taken in the past. I expected to read some things and write some things. My expectations never changed throughout the semester because we did exactly what I expected us to do. I am happy that I took this class, it was pretty fun and I never felt like I didn't want to go to it. 

Theory of Writing

My feelings about writing haven’t really changed throughout the semester. I didn’t necessarily learn anything this semester that will truly affect my writing going forward. I honestly don’t even think about anything that I learned during class while I’m writing. I think that the best writing comes from people who truly care about writing itself and enjoys doing it, but I think that is still possible to be a good writer if you don’t. I still approach writing the same way now as I did at the beginning of the semester. I still wait until the last minute before I start writing because I feel like my thoughts flow better that way. I think that writing is a form of art and just like any other form of art some people are good at and some people aren’t. I believe that good writing has to be truthful and passionate. I writer should be true to himself when writing. You should write about what you know and believe. I believe that a writer should care about his writing in order to properly connect to his fans. Bad writing is something that isn’t interesting or doesn’t evoke any emotions out of me, and it’s like I’m just reading a bunch of random words put together. I end up having to read it over a couple of times just to understand what was said. If writing is emotionless no one will ever want to read it. When I’m writing I need to consider what it is that I’m trying to tell my audience. I also need to consider what approach I need to take in order to get my audiences’ attention so I will be able to convey my message. I consider myself to be a good writer. I don’t think that I’m a great writer, it’s not like I can write a great paper on a topic that I don’t care but not many can. I don’t think that my writing style ever changes regardless of the situation; I believe that no matter what I write it always will sound like something I would write. I still don’t care too much for writing in general. Writing is still something that I look at with the mindset that I have to do it and not that I want to do it. That’s nothing against this class, I actually enjoyed the class, writing just isn’t something that I’m very passionate about. 

Inquiry Reflection

Inquiry Blog
The Inquiry blog was actually really helpful. When I first heard about it I thought that it would stupid. I think that it's good that we were able to display our writing and that our classmates were able to comment on it. I got ideas about what I could write about by being able to look at other peoples' work. It also let me know if I was doing my assignment right by seeing what my classmates were doing. I think that blogger was pretty easy to use once I got the hang of it. I wish I would've done a better job of commenting on my classmates work because I might of been able to help someone get a better idea of what to write about. Overall I don't think that the blog really impacted my writing, but I was a nice way to display my writing and show my improvement over the course of the semester.


Inquiry Project
The inquiry project was definitely difficult, it was by far the hardest assignment we had to do all semester. I don't think that I have ever written an argumentative paper before. I had a problem with preventing my paper from sounding too conversational. I actually ended up enjoying this assignment despite the difficulty of it because I really started to get interested in my topic. I didn't enjoy righting the first draft because I didn't really know what I was doing and I think my writing reflected that. It got a lot easier after receiving the feedback on it because I knew what I was doing right and what I needed to change. I think I ended up writing a pretty good argumentative paper in the end. I believe that this helped me become a better writer because it was so challenging, and even though I enjoyed the challenge I wouldn't be upset if I never had to write another paper like this.

Personal Creed

 My name is George Mitchell and I believe that I’m a pretty honest person, so I’m going to be honest and tell everyone the things that I believe in. I would like to warn everyone that this may sound a bit selfish but that’s just me being honest.

I believe that the most important thing in life is to make sure that you put your happiness first. If you can’t make yourself happy, it gets really hard to make anyone else happy. I believe in always putting myself first.

I also believe that it’s important to take care of yourself, physically and trying to stay in shape. 

I think that people should have fun with what they’re doing and that they shouldn’t stay in miserable situations.

I believe in staying positive and not letting things that you can’t control get you depressed.

I believe that laughter is an important part of living a healthy life.

I believe in being honest as much as possible, because it’s a lot easier for me to remember the truth than keeping up with a bunch of different lies.

I believe that respecting yourself and others is very important.

I think that everyone should try their best to think before they speak. You never know how the things that you say without thinking can affect someone.

I believe in being confident but not overly confident. There is a thin line between confidence and arrogance.

I also think that you shouldn’t think too highly of yourself and put others down, or look down on people like you’re better than them.

I believe that playing sports, or being a part of some kind of team, at some point in your life is very important. You can learn a lot of lessons from being a part of a team that can’t be learned anywhere else.

I believe in God, and I believe that people shouldn’t judge others or try to push their religion onto others.

 I believe that if you want something to happen you should do something to make it happen yourself and not just pray for it.

Last and most importantly, I believe that the Miami Dolphins and Hurricanes will both win championships within the next five years.

Discussions of Reflection

I think that she is right when she says that with the intent to be self reflective would help someone in becoming an honest writer. When someone constantly writes and self reflects they learn what is that they need to do in order to become an effective writer. I also like when she says that "writing changes; writing is fluid; writing is a bitch; writing is an art." The reason why I like that statement so much is because it's true. Though there are things that you can do the same way while writing, writing itself never stays the same and is always changing. To me self reflection means looking at yourself with objectivity with the intention of seeing what needs to be changed in order to better yourself. Self reflection can help you find the truth about yourself  in more ways than just writing.

Response to TIB Peer Review

I'm feeling pretty good about my rough draft. I think that by putting in a lot of different things in my rough draft it made the peer review better. By not really going into a lot of details with anything it let me know what parts people would be interested in and want to read more about.  During the peer revision process I learned that my essay was a bit repetitive, and that I should add a specific example of when a loss really affected me. I have an idea of what direction I want to go in know. I think I've done a good job of getting my beliefs across even without going into details. I plan on cutting out some of my repetitive sentences, and putting in a story that will connect to the reader and pull their interest towards my essay.

Response to The Last Lecture

I think that the way he communicated his message was great. He was very engaging and he kept his audience interested in what he was saying. The fact that he let everyone know that he was sick at the beginning of the lecture added to the importance of the lecture. It gave the audience even more incentive to listen to what he was saying. Even though he didn't want people to pity him it's impossible for people not to feel sorry for him. So by stating that he is dying he immediately appealed to his audience's emotions. There are two reasons why I think he chose a lecture format as his platform  to send out his final message. The first is that he is a professor and that's what he does. If you are sending out your final message you want to be in your comfort zone. If he was a writer I'm pretty sure he would've wrote a book to do it. The second reason is that a lecture is more personal and it allows people to see who he really is. He is able to really connect with his audience this way.

The Rhetorical Situation

I think that rhetoric is how someone uses language to manipulate their audience. When I say manipulate I don't mean that in a bad way. Rhetoric is how someone uses language to effectively appeal to their audience. The only time most people the word rhetoric is when someone says something about a rhetorical question. Even though rhetoric isn't a word that the majority of people will hear very often, it is always incorporated in everyday conversation. Without even knowing it people are always using rhetoric. My initial response to the question, what is a rhetorical situation, is a situation that involves rhetoric, but I've learned that that isn't a valid definition. I know that rhetorical situation is what else going in the text outside of the actual words. Their is a lot that can be learned from a text that doesn't necessarily come from the words themselves.

What is Good Writing

In my opinion good writing is interesting. No matter the subject a good writer should be able to keep the attention of his reader. I also think that good writing is truthful and passionate. When I say that good writing is truthful I don't mean that good writing has to be non-fiction. I mean that the writer should be true to himself  it is hard for someone to write something good if they don't believe in what they are talking about. If a writer truly believes in what they are writing about it's easier for him to connect to his reader. Writers that are passionate about what they are writing end up with fans that are passionate about what they are reading. In contrast I believe that bad writing is boring and dry. If the author is unable to connect to his readers there is no point in writing. When I'm reading something and I think that it's bad it's because it doesn't evoke any emotions out of me. When reading bad writing it feels like I'm just reading a bunch of random words put together. As A truly great writer myself I'm going to be honest when I say that I don't really have any favorite writers because I only read when it's mandatory so I don't really care for the authors.

Inquiry Paper: Final Draft

Learning Leadership, the Language

            There’s an abundance of definitions for leadership, and most of them sound something like “the act of leading others.” For something as difficult to master as leadership those kinds of definitions are too simple.  Dwight D. Eisenhower, the 34^th President of the United States, said it best when he said “leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” Now the question is how I go about making someone else do what I want. The answer is to learn the language of leadership. Like learning any other language, learning leadership takes hard work and commitment. The language of leadership is a very complex language to learn, it involves the use rhetorical techniques likes, Pathos, Logos, and Ethos. There is also a hidden pattern to speaking the language of leadership that involves different steps and enablers. There are some people who believe that leaders are born and I definitely know why they would think that because I used to think the same thing. There are several traits that people believe to be required in order to be a great leader that people have to be born with. Some of those include intelligence, some psychological traits, and even physical attractiveness. I have done a lot of research on the topic of leadership and leadership isn’t some innate gift that can’t be learned. I now believe that leadership is a language that can learned through hard work and determination.

            Most of my experiences in life when it comes to leadership have something to do with sports. I have played sports throughout my entire life and have had many different coaches who all had different approaches to leadership, and for the most part I have been blessed with pretty good coaches and leaders. I’m pretty sure that they weren’t as good at leading people when they first started as they were when I was being coached by them. I also believe that it’s a little easier to lead in their situation because they are not talking to peers their talking to children. I have also had my fair share of opportunities to lead during my life. Early on in my life it seemed that I was always thrown into the leadership position when I played with my friends even though I was usually younger than the people that I played with. The fact that I was always in the leadership position at such a young age was the main why I believed that leadership is an innate trait. My senior year of high school I was once again expected to be a leader. I was no longer new to the team and learning my way, I was now expected to help guide the younger players so that they could contribute to the team. This time around it wasn’t as easy to get people to do what I wanted them to.

            There are things that can be done to become a good leader, and these things can all be learned in time. According to Stephen Denning’s book The Secret Language of Leadership there is a hidden pattern in using the language of leadership. That hidden pattern includes three steps; get attention, stimulate desire, and reinforce with reasons. The most important step out of the three is getting the audience’s attention, if the audience’s attention isn’t gained impossible to fully accomplish the next two goals. The way to go about all of this is to have a conversation with the audience. It’s important that the audience doesn’t feel like they’re being talked down to, communication between both sides is very important in order for the audience to feel like you can connect with them. It’s also important to listen to their story in order to find out what it is that makes the tick. Body language is another key component to the language of leadership. A leader needs to look inviting and receptive; if he looks too aggressive it will intimidate the audience. The next thing to do is to stimulate desire, and to do that the idea must be “worthwhile for its own sake” meaning that it has to be rewarding just by doing it. The goal can’t only have extrinsic benefits because those will only last for so long, and a leader will eventually run out of things to reward people with. After a leader stimulates a desire to change he must reinforce it with reason. It’s time to let them know why whatever it is that needs to be done will work. A leader needs to turn arguments into “common memory” stories or use images to support your stories. By learning these important things it helps dispel the myth that leadership is an innate gift that can’t be learned.

Leaders also need to learn how to properly use rhetorical techniques to become good leaders. Ethos, logos, and pathos are very important rhetorical techniques involved in effective leadership. Of course ethos is an important part of any leadership role, but it isn’t the most important out of the three. Just because someone has a certain position it doesn’t mean anything, these days’ people are just as likely to tone out their boss as they are to tone out the bum on the side of the street if he’s not talking about something they really care about. The most important part in leadership is getting the person’s attention, though it may be a lot easier to get someone’s attention when someone of a higher social ranking is trying to do it. Logos is important because it makes always helps to be able back up a cause with facts and logic. This is especially important when an individual is trying to convince someone who is in a higher position than they are. For example if someone is trying to convince the CEO of their company to raise the advertising expense, the CEO is going to want the employee to get straight to the point and provide facts or they won’t even acknowledge them. The last of the rhetorical techniques is pathos is the most important of the three when it comes to leadership. I’ve read countless articles that say emotions should be kept out of leadership, but I believe that’s the wrong way to approach things. If a leader is emotionless in his leadership style he seems like a dictator and that will only cause people to resent him. An emotional appeal is the easiest way to get the audience’s attention. When a leader can appeal to the emotions of his audience it makes the audience feel like they are similar or are peers which will give them more motivation to follow your lead. All three of these rhetorical techniques play a key role in learning how to become a leader.

Being dishonest may be the only thing that will always prevent someone from being a great leader. Telling the truth might be the single most important part of the entire language of learning. If a leader continuously tells people things and it turns out they weren’t true it will ruin his credibility, and his audience won’t ever be able trust him. Once trust is lost it’s impossible to lead people. It’s hard to always tell the truth and really easy to make a mistake when telling somebody something. If a leader does make a mistake and say something that isn’t true it’s vital that he comes out and tell them that he made a mistake instead of waiting and letting it be discovered. Once that happens it looks like he told a lie and was trying to keep it hidden. It’s best to be honest as much as possible and it will make it a lot easier to use the other things I’ve talked about to become an effective leader.

I completely understand why some people believe that leadership is innate. I definitely agree that you have to be born with certain traits in order to be an effective leader like intelligence; nobody wants to follow someone who they believe to be stupid. I also don’t believe that everyone has the ability to become leaders, but I do believe that people who aren’t necessarily good leaders, but possess some of the traits required of good leaders can learn how to become effective leaders over time. I think that it’s pretty hard to believe that people can’t learn how to be good leaders, and that if they aren’t leaders now they won’t ever be able to become leaders.

In order to become a great leader I believe that an individual must first follow the pattern of the language of leadership which is get attention, stimulate desire, and then reinforce with reason. He must be aware of what kind of vibe he is giving off with his body language. He must also learn how to effectively use pathos, logos, and ethos when you are speaking.  Most importantly he must speak the truth and establish trust. It’s important to know that leadership isn’t something that is innate and only a few people are born with. It’s good to know that someone doesn’t have to be some elite specimen to be a good leader, and that if they have the will to become a good leader and some of the traits that are important he can do it with hard work. Everyone will end up in a situation where they need to motivate someone to act and this information will hopefully help when the time comes. Leadership isn’t some innate gift that certain people are blessed with and I truly believe people can learn it through the language of leadership.

Work Cited Page

Bock, Wally. “Are Leaders Born or Made.” Three Star Leadership. 29 Nov. 2012. Web. 2006

Conger, Jay A. “Inspiring Others: The Language of Leadership” The Executive 5.1 (1991): 31-      
          45. Print 

Denning, Stephen. The Secret Language of Leadership: How Leaders Inspire Others    
           Through Narrative. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass: A Wiley Company, 2007. Print                  

Soder, Roger. The Language of Leadership. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass: A Wiley Company, 
            2001. Print     

Vargheese, Sangeeth. “Are Leaders Really Born?” Forbes. 29 Nov. 2012. Web. 29. Nov. 2007.

Inquiry Paper: Revised

Learning Leadership, the Language

            There are a lot of [KA2] definitions of leadership, and most of them sound something like “the act of leading others.” Well I think that’s way too simple [KA3] a definition for something as difficult to master as leadership. In my opinion Dwight D. Eisenhower, the 34^th President of the United States, said it best when he said, “leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” Now the question is how I go about making someone else do what I want. The answer is to learn the language of leadership. Like learning any other language, learning leadership takes hard work and commitment. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying [KA4] that the language of leadership is a couple of phrases that convince people to do what you want. The language of leadership is much more complex than that. It involves the use rhetorical techniques likes, Pathos, Logos, and Ethos. There is also a hidden pattern to speaking the language of leadership that involves different steps and enablers. I think that everyone has had moments where they really needed to convince someone to do something and just couldn’t them to buy [KA5] in to what you were saying even if it was for their own good. If you learn the language of leadership hopefully you won’t have to experience that again. [KA6] There are some people who believe that leaders are born and I definitely know why they would think that because I used to think the same thing. There are several traits that people believe to be required in order to be a great leader that people have to be born with. Some of those include intelligence, some psychological traits, and even physical attractiveness. I have done a lot of research on the topic of leadership and I now believe that leadership isn’t some innate gift that can’t be learned. I now believe that leadership is a language that can learned through hard work and determination. [KA7] 

            Most of my experiences in life [KA8] when it comes to leadership have something to do with sports. I have played sports throughout my entire life and have had many different coaches who all had different approaches to leadership, and for the most part I have been blessed with pretty good coaches and leaders. I’m pretty sure that they weren’t as good at leading people when they first started as they were when I was being coached by them. I also believe that it’s a little easier to lead in their situation because they are not talking to peers they’re talking to children. I have also had my fair share of opportunities to lead during my life. Early on in my life it seemed that I was always thrown into the leadership position when I played with my friends even though I was usually younger than the people that I played with. The fact that I was always in the leadership position at such a young age was the main why I believed that leadership is an innate trait. My senior year of high school I was once again expected to be a leader. I was no longer new to the team and learning my way, I was now expected to help guide the younger players so that they could contribute to the team. This time around it wasn’t as easy to get people to do what I wanted them to. When you are speaking to peers it’s not as easy as being in a higher position than they are[KA9] .

            There are things you can do to become a good leader, and these things can all be learned in time. According to Stephen Denning’s book The Secret Language of Leadership there is a hidden pattern in using the language of leadership. That hidden pattern includes three steps; get attention, stimulate desire, and reinforce with reasons. [KA10] The most important step out of the three is getting your audience’s attentionbecause if you are unable to do it you might as well not even try to do the other two because it will just be a waste of breath. The way to go about all of this is to have a conversation with them. It’s important that you don’t talk down to your audience, communication between both sides is very important in order for them to feel like you can connect with them. It’s also important to listen to their story in order to find out what it is that makes the tick. Body language is another key component to the language of leadership. You need to look inviting and receptive; if you look too aggressive, it will intimidate your audience. The next thing to do is to stimulate desire, and to do that the idea must be “worthwhile for its own sake” meaning that it has to be rewarding just by doing it. The goal can’t only have extrinsic benefits because those will only last for so long, and you will eventually run out of things to reward people with. After you stimulate a desire to change you reinforce it with reason. It’s time to let them know why whatever it is that you want done will work. You can turn arguments into “common memory” stories or use images to support your stories[KA11] .

You can also learn how to properly use rhetorical techniques to become good leaders. Ethos, logos, and pathos are very important rhetorical techniques involved in effective leadership. Ethos is an important part of any leadership role, but it’s not as important as you think. Just because you have a certain position doesn’t mean anything, because the most important part in leadership is getting the person’s attention[KA12] . These days someone are just as likely to tone out their boss as they are to tone out the bum on the side of the street. Still it’s a lot easier to get someone’s attention if you are someone of high stature. Logos is important because it’s always good to be able to use facts and logic to support what you are saying. This is especially important when you are trying to convince someone who is in a higher position than you are. For example if someone is trying to convince the CEO of their company to raise the advertising expense, the CEO is going to want you to get straight to the point and provide facts or they won’t even acknowledge you. The last of the rhetorical techniques is pathos which I believe is the most important of the three when it comes to leadership. A lot of people believe that you shouldn’t ever involve emotions in leadership, but I believe that’s the wrong way to approach things. If you take the emotions out of your leadership style you seem like a dictator and the only thing that will accomplish is causing people to resent you. An emotional appeal is the easiest way to get your audience’s attention[KA13] . If you appeal to someone’s emotions you make them feel like you are their peers, which in turn will make them more likely to follow your lead.

The only thing that will always keep you from truly being a great leader is not being honest[KA14] . Telling the truth might be the single most important part of the entire language of learning. If you continuously tell people things and they turn out they weren’t true it will ruin your credibility, and they won’t ever be able trust you. Once trust is lost it’s impossible to lead people. It’s hard to always tell the truth and really easy to make a mistake when telling somebody something. If you do make a mistake and say something that isn’t true it’s vital that you come out tell them that you made a mistake instead of waiting and letting it be discovered. Once that happens it looks like you told a lie and was trying to keep it hidden. If you can do your best to be honest as much as possible it will make using the other things I’ve talked about to become an effective leader.

I completely understand why some people believe that leadership is innate. I definitely agree that you have to be born with certain traits in order to be an effective leader like intelligence; nobody wants to follow someone who they believe to be stupid. I also don’t believe that everyone has the ability to become leaders, but I do believe that people who aren’t necessarily good leaders, but possess some of the traits required of good leaders can learn how to become effective leaders over time. I think that it’s pretty hard to believe that people can learn how to be good leaders, and that if they aren’t leaders now they won’t ever be able to become leaders.

In order to become a great leader I believe that you must first follow the pattern of the language of leadership which is get attention, stimulate desire, and then reinforce with reason. Be aware of what kind of vibe you are giving off with your body language. You must also learn how to effectively use pathos, logos, and ethos when you are speaking.  Most importantly you must speak the truth and establish trust. It’s important to know that leadership isn’t something that innate and only a few people are born with. It’s good to know that you don’t know have to be some elite specimen to be a good leader, and that if you have the will to become a good leader [KA15] and some of the traits that are important you can do it with hard work. Everyone will end up in a situation where they need to motivate someone to act and this information will help hopefully help you when the time comes. A that leadership isn’t some innate gift that certain people are blessed with and I truly believe people can learn it through the language of leadership.

George,

I really enjoyed reading your essay and I think that you are making some great points about what it takes to be a good leader. I think that you need to work on the actual wording and tone of the piece. Right now, it is reading as too conversational and narrative for a research-based paper. You need to try to rewrite it from a more objective perspective without the authorial narration (Please see some of the phrases that I have struck out in the conclusion). I think that you could also strengthen the argument if you bring back the thesis statement after each main point and show how it connects to your overall argument. Overall, I think that you have a good start and great ideas. I look forward to seeing what you do in the final draft.

KA

Work Cited Page[KA16] 

Soder, Roger. The Language of Leadership. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass: A Wiley Company, 2001. Print

Denning, Stephen. The Secret Language of Leadership: How Leaders Inspire Others Through Narrative. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass: A Wiley Company, 2007. Print

Conger, Jay A. “Inspiring Others: The Language of Leadership” The Executive 5.1 (1991): 31-45. Print

Bock, Wally. “Are Leaders Born or Made.” Three Star Leadership. 29 Nov. 2012. Web. 2006

Vargheese, Sangeeth. “Are Leaders Really Born?” Forbes. 29 Nov. 2012. Web. 29. Nov. 2007.

---

 [KA1]Please see Purdue OWL for proper MLA formatting for the heading and page numbers.

 [KA2]You may want to avoid opening up with such vague language. Is there another way that you could phrase it that gives it a little more strength?

 [KA3]This is also too conversational.

 [KA4]Too conversational

 [KA5]?

 [KA6]Could you write this without directly addressing the reader?

 [KA7]I think that this should function as your thesis statement, but you need to take “I believe” out because it’s your paper and your argument, so the reader knows that you believe it.

 [KA8]George—this essay is a bit too narrative for a research-based paper. I like the ideas that you have and I think that you do a good job working into the essay, but I think that it would be better if you rephrased it from the third person perspective. You can use personal examples as supporting evidence, but you should not be writing the entire essay from a personal perspective. Try to avoid using “I” or “my” unless you are using a personal experience as supporting evidence and don’t use “you” to address the reader. As you are rephrasing your perspective, please make sure to address the conversational tone as well.

 [KA9]Why do you think that is? Explain it for your reader and be specific.

 [KA10]Even if you’re paraphrasing, you need to cite the page where this information came from in parentheses at the end of the sentence.

 [KA11]You should come back to your thesis statement or main argument here and show how the previous point fits into it before moving onto your next point.

 [KA12]You don’t think that who you are affects what people think about you? Wouldn’t a famous coach command more respect or get people’s attention better than an unknown one?

 [KA13]Can you give a specific example here?

 [KA14]Doesn’t this go back to ethos?

 [KA15]I like the point that you are making here and that you are coming back to your main argument in the conclusion.

 [KA16]Second line of the entries are indented. You need to italicize book titles. All entries should be in alphabetical order. 

This I Believe: Reflection

My drafting was the same on this project as it was on every writing assignment I’ve ever done. I always wait to the last minute to do my assignment because I feel like my thoughts flow better that way. The difference with this assignment is that I actually took what the people said during the peer review into consideration. I usually dismiss my peers’ response and only worry about what I think and what my teachers think. The difference with this assignment was that after listening and reading their responses I looked back at my essay and realized things that I could’ve done to improve my essay.

I think that my latest draft was pretty good but could’ve have been a lot better. I think that I need to find a way to make the essay flow better in the parts before it gets to the story about losing our season. If it was not for the word limit I feel like I could produce a really good essay, but it’s really hard to fit everything in without it sounding weird. I feel like it sounds like I was just stating facts without being able to elaborate on it. I really had trouble with the paragraph about when we lost our season. The reason I had so much difficulty with that paragraph was because that season was such an emotional roller-coaster that it would be impossible to describe in a single paragraph without feeling like I was downplaying what really happened that season.

When it comes to the resources that helped me write this essay I can’t really think of any. I’m not saying that all the things that we did in class didn’t help but when I’m writing I really don’t think about the things that we did in class. I always just write whatever flows into my head. The only thing that I can think of that helped is the personal credo because I wouldn’t have been able to come up the ideal to write what I wrote without it. I don’t think that I needed any more information to help me with this assignment, because as I stated before I just write whatever comes into my head.

                I really enjoyed this writing assignment because I was writing about the things that I believe in and not some topic that I was assigned and don’t care about this. When I’m writing an assignment like this I really want to do my best with it because it something that’s more personal. Once again the most challenging part about writing this essay was the word limit. I feel like it could’ve been so much better if there wasn’t a word limit. I feel like the most rewarding part about writing this essay was the fact that I was writing about something that I cared about and being able to tell the story about our lost season regardless of how short it had to be.

This I Believe: Final Draft

This I Believe

Sports have taught me a lot of things throughout my life, and I believe that the most important things that I’ve learned from sports aren’t physical but mental. Playing football instilled a never give up mentality in me. I learned how to work hard in order to achieve a desired goal. I also learned leadership skills and how to work with others. With all that being said I believe that the most important thing that I learned from playing sports is how to lose.

                Now don’t get me wrong losing SUCKS, and there’s nothing worse than that quiet bus ride back to school after a road loss. Sports are a good way to learn how to lose because after a loss there’s no time to mope, you have to go out and work even harder so you won’t have to experience that feeling again. I’ve heard my whole life that you learn a lot more from failure than you ever will from success and I believe that to be true.

The worst loss I’ve experienced was an entire season. My junior year of high school our football team had one of the best seasons in long time for the school. No one but us expected that we were going to be a good team at the beginning of the season. We started off slower than we would’ve liked and after the first five games we had already lost two heartbreakers. After that we finally started to put it together and right in time for conference play. We blew through the conference games with ease for a showdown with our rival Jack Britt who was undefeated and favored to win it all. After beating them in a triple overtime game we were on top of the world feeling that the state championship was ours to take. The next Monday we were told not to get dressed and to wait in the locker rooms, so everybody thought that we were about to get our conference championship trophy. When the coaches arrived in the locker room they didn’t look like men that had just coached the conference champions but instead like pallbearers. With tears in their eyes they explained to us that the season was over and that we had to forfeit all of our wins because our principal changed the grades of one of our players. Most of the team burst into tears, but I think that I was too shocked to cry at the moment. I really couldn’t believe that our season was over like that. The worst part was after a couple of weeks Jack Britt made it to the championship game.

It’s hard to think of losing in a positive light while it’s happening but looking back losing our season wasn’t all bad we became closer as a team and I realized that I can’t take things for granted. I believe that I learned a lot more from losing that season than anything I learned while we were winning.

This I Believe: Revision

                Sports have taught me a lot of things throughout my life, and I believe that the most important things that I’ve learned from sports aren’t physical, but mental.

                Playing[KA1]  football instilled a never give up mentality in me. I learned how to work hard in order to achieve a desired goal. I also learned leadership skills and how to work with[KA2]  . With all that being said, I believe that the most important thing that I learned from playing sports is how to lose.

                Now don’t get me wrong losing SUCKS, and there’s nothing worse than that quiet bus ride back [KA3] to school after a road loss. Sports are a good way to learn how to lose because after a loss there’s no time to sit around and mope, you have to go out and work even harder so you won’t have to experience that feeling again. I’ve heard my whole life that you learn a lot more from failure than you ever will from success and I believe that to be true. Unfortunately anybody who’s played sports has a lot of experiences with losing and I’m no exception. [KA4] 

The worst loss I’ve experienced was an entire season. My junior year of high school, our football team had one of the best seasons in a long time for the school. No one but us expected that we were going to be a good team at the beginning of the season. We started off slower than we would’ve liked, and  after the first five games we had already lost two heartbreakers. After that we finally started to put it together and right in time for conference play. We blew through the conference games with ease for a showdown with our rival Jack Britt, who was undefeated and favored to win it all. After beating them in a triple overtime game, we were on top of the world feeling that the state championship was ours to take. The next Monday we were told not to get dressed and to wait in the locker rooms, so everybody thought that we were about to get our conference championship trophy. [KA5] When the coaches arrived in the locker room, they didn’t look like men that had just coached the conference champions, but instead like pallbearers. [KA6] With tears in their eyes, they explained to us that the season was over and that we had to forfeit all of our wins because our principal changed the grades of one of our players. The[KA7]  worst part was after a couple of weeks Jack Britt made it to the championship game[KA8] .

It’s hard to think of losing in a positive light while it’s happening but looking back losing our season wasn’t all bad we became closer as a team and I realized that I can’t take things for granted. I also know now that without losing sometimes that I wouldn’t ever be able to truly appreciate winning[KA9] [KA10] .

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 [KA1]You can connect this paragraph with the earlier sentence if you want. They seem to be playing on the same idea.

 [KA2]Are you missing a word after “with”?

 [KA3]Great image to create for your reader—I think we all have had that experience. Good job with communal relevance.

 [KA4]If you are worried about word count, then I think that you could do away to this sentence. It’s not really adding much to your essay or giving new information.

 [KA5]Good job of leading the reader into thinking that it was going to be good news and then letting the news shatter the story. It works as a mirror for the experience itself.

 [KA6]Great descriptive image!

 [KA7]You may need a little more description of the reaction here before you move on to the next point.

 [KA8]This is such a great story to tell. As a reader, I really connected to what you were saying. I think that you could build it up even more by adding narrative detail—talk more about exactly what you felt that moment the coaches came into the locker room. It’s such a great story—try to play it up as much as possible.

 [KA9]I think that you may want to come back to the sentiment you expressed in the third paragraph as your conclusion. Try to play on the idea that “you learn a lot more from failure than you ever will from success.” I think that by ending it that way, it will make your reader feel as if the essay has come full circle.

 [KA10]

George,

I really enjoyed reading your essay and learning a little more about you—I can’t believe the story that you told—it’s absolutely heartbreaking! You have done a great job with this essay and I think that you have a good connection between your main belief statement and your narrative. I think that your essay could be even stronger if you played up the narrative a little more by building up the story details. It is such a unique story that pulls the reader in, try to use it as much as you can. Overall, I think that you have a good essay and I look forward to seeing where you go in the next draft.

KA

(Projected Grade:85)

This I Believe: Rough Draft

I’ve learned a lot of things in my life from playing sports. Some of those things are physical ones like how to take care of my body and stay in shape, but the majority of the things that playing sports taught me were mental and those are the things that I believe are most important. Sports have taught me to never give up and persevere; It also taught me that if I really want something that I have to be willing to work hard for it. I was able to get through those hellish summer practices because our goal was to win a championship. It’s taught me how to work with others and how to put aside personal differences in order to achieve a shared goal. Before I started playing football my junior year of high school I hated working with others and I thought that I could do everything on my own, and that’s not the right attitude to have if you want to be successful in life. Without football I don’t think that I would’ve ever learned that lesson, because in football if everybody isn’t on the same page and working together it’s nearly impossible to win. . I’ve learned leadership skills and how to take responsibility from playing football. When I messed up on the field I couldn’t point fingers; and I had to let my teammates know that they can trust that I won’t let it happen again. Sports have taught me how to respectfully compete. With all that being said, I believe that the most important thing that sports have taught me is how to lose.

Now don’t get me wrong losing SUCKS. There is nothing worse than that quiet bus ride back to school after a road loss. Losing taught me that everything in life isn’t going to go the way I want it to. The reason I believe that learning how to lose from playing sports is so important is because when playing sports you can’t sit around and mope, you have to go out and work even harder so you won’t have to experience that feeling again. I don’t let anything in life get me down because I know that it’s nothing I can do about it now so I just have to get prepared for whatever life throws at me next. It’s also important to learn how to lose gracefully and respectfully. If someone beat me I just have to congratulate them and go out and beat them next time. Learning all these things about losing wasn’t easy for me because playing basketball my whole life I really didn’t have to [deal with much losing, and I definitely didn’t view it in such a positive light while it was actually happening. I also had to learn how to deal with losing more than just games while playing football. I had to deal] with losing my starting job my senior year because of a shoulder injury, but I didn’t get down about it because I knew I wasn’t able to give it my all and that it would be better for the team.

Sports have taught me many life lessons, maybe more than anything else in my life so far. Despite all of the obvious physical benefits; I believe that sports have truly benefited me mentally, but that’s the reason why I really love sports.

Comments:

Ashley Aspenwall: I agree with you in your belief of how it is important to how to and accept it. I played sports in middle school and high school and I can still picture my last game my senior year of volleyball in the quarter finals against one of our biggest rivals. What I believe would pull this idea together, would be of a story that you remember where someone didn't take losing well or when you didn't take losing well. You can be very detailed about the game, your surroundings and how you felt, to really pull the reader in. This way you can state your belief, tell the story and wrap it up with connecting all your main points. This will really add interest to your paper instead of rambling on and trying to find another way to explain losing

Stephanie Suggs: An interesting view, losing being an important lesson. You say Football in the 1st paragraph two more times than necassary. Maybe focus on a particular sport, rather than mentioning football and basketball. My Point out a spot where you are a bit too repetitive with the concept of dealing with stuff. A few things you said in the first paragraph is repeated in the second, doing stuff respectfully, to work hard.

Annotated Bibliography

Conger, Jay A. Inspiring Others: The Language of Leadership. The Executive 5.1 (1991): 31-45. Print

               

  In this article Conger speaks about the importance of communicating your mission as a leader. He thinks that the ability to properly communicate your message can make you an effective leader, and he believes that people can learn how to be effective leaders. He believes that the business world has lost the ability to effectively describe their mission, and that leaders are too emotionless. He states that the language of business can be broken up into two categories, framing and rhetorical crafting. He describes framing as defining the purpose of the organization or the message. Rhetorical crafting is described as the ability to use symbolic language in order to give power to the message. I think that this is an effective article because he uses specific examples of cases where being able to effectively communicate your message changed people’s perceptions of certain leaders.

Denning, Stephen. The Secret Language of Leadership: How Leaders Inspire Others Through Narrative.    

               San Francisco: Jossey-Bass: A Wiley Company, 2007. Print

 Denning's book is all about leaders connect and engage with their audiences. He believes that traditional approaches to leadership don’t work. He believes that creating enduring enthusiasm is the most important thing to becoming an effective leader. I think that his book was the best out of all the things that I looked at. It was very easy to understand and he gave a detailed examples. He believes that leadership isn’t an innate gift and that “once the hidden patterns of the language of leadership are made explicit, leadership becomes accessible to anyone.”

Quirk, Michael P. and Patricia M. Fandt. The Second Language of Leadership. New Jersey: Lawrence      

           Erlbaum Associates, 2000. Print    

  

This book takes a completely different approach than any of my other sources. They look at leadership in itself as a language, and compares learning how to be an effective leader to learning a second language. They believe that by knowing who you are as a person you can become an effective leader. By improving your personality they believe you can be a leader by leaning on your strengths and managing your weaknesses. I think that their book is effective because it looks at learning leadership skills in an unique light, though I don’t necessarily believe everything that they say.

Soder, Roger. The Language of Leadership. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass: A Wiley Company, 2001. Print

             

   Soder’s book is about the relationship between language and effective leadership, in particular the ability to persuade others. He kind of approaches it in a political manner and his book demonstrates how to be an effective leader within the context of democracy. He shows how to use ethical persuasion to become a successful leader. The strengths of his book is that he points out the role of morals in leading. I also think that his book stands out from other material on this topic because he talks about what happens when things go wrong, he doesn’t try to act like if you listen to what he says everything will go perfectly. 

Presentation

I think that the presentation went pretty well. I didn't really get any advice that would help me with me with the project but I figured out that I was heading in the right direction with my inquiry question. I kind of came up with the topic at the last minute because I couldn't find enough information to come up with an argumentative question. Even though I didn't really get any feedback that helped me, I got some ideas about what direction I wanted to go in by listening to other people's inquiry questions. Overall I think that it was really helpful because it helped steer me in the right direction, and I think it will be a lot easier to find information on my topic now.